Starting College Part 2: Becoming "One" of Them

I'm starting college, like officially. It's been a week now and I kind of like it. I love all the subjects and studies. I love how I am being teach by professionals and I like my new environment, friends and the communities. I have loads of things to do and accomplished from the seniors and of course, the faculty where I study. And the exposure, to be 'one' of them.

Well, 'one' of them, yes. I don't recall that negatively, but it's quite an effort adapting as a different person. I'm trying to change how I speak, think, see and feel. I try to act smarter and more individualistic. I'm building my mind and thoughts so it could become more critical. I think this is the intellectual way of saying that I'M SCARED.

Sometimes, I'm afraid that I'd sound or seem stupid in front of them. I don't want to feel embarrassed anymore, I think I've had enough of it. I just shut myself up if I have nothing qualified to say, or there's nothing smart that would came out of me. In other words, I am silently drowning myself in a mud of intellectuality. I want to be one of them. I want to sound as smart as them. I want to work as hard as them. I don't want to be left out and behind, like I was.