You came true

You are missed

This song is so touching. I heard this from "My Sister's Keeper", it was performed by Edwina Hayes, but I found the real version by Chantal Kreviazuk, which was the soundtrack of "Dawson's Creek". I love this song very much...

"Feels Like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk

Something in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself

Makes me wanna lose myself in your arms

There's something in your voice, makes my heart beat fast

Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been

And how long I've been so alone

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark streets

And a siren wails in the night

But I'm alright 'cause I have you here with me

And I can almost see, through the dark there's light

Well, if you know how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch

And if you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

This song represented how I really feel for someone right this moment. Sadly, I can't be with him anymore. However, I still love him dearly...

Finally...

I never knew this kind of sign would happened. I feel it in the last 3 days this week and it just happened today. This sign which really make me think that there's no more hope. There's no way anything could be better. Nothing will ever happen anymore.

Earlier today, I was at the movie with my friends when suddenly I had a mention on Twitter from him. He said that he lost the anklets that I made for him 2 years ago. I was kind of accepted it with a really heavy heart. I tried to cheer myself up with not thinking about it, but it just keeps coming in my mind. I've been thinking that this is a sign. A sign for me and him to forget each other and move on. I'm thinking that there's nothing left of me with him. Nothing. Not even one.

I'm wondering if he tried to find it or not. I'm thinking that he might forget about it. He had me with him, but now I am nowhere to be found.

After he mentioned me, I didn't know what to say. I didn't reply him. I just want to let it go and think that this is a sign. He contacted me then, I replied. I asked how could he lost it and I said that's okay. He said he still had it when he was out and found nothing tangled around his leg when he got home. He said the anklets was already attached to him ever since I made it for him. He said he's sad that he lost it. I tried to let it go and talked about other thing. I couldn't help myself, I said I miss him and he said he missed me too. He said it with my full name on the text. I don't know what else I can do, except stop waiting for everything. I just want to stay. I don't ever want to hope for anything. I don't think I'll ever get over him, in any ways. I'll be missing everything, everyday. I felt really bad last night though. It turned out that he lost it somewhere.

I blame myself for everything. I couldn't blame him though. It is never his fault. I'm sad because of my own thoughts.

I confess that I still wait for him sometimes. I've waited for him to say "Hi" everyday, but sometimes he didn't. I made myself sad with my stupid stubbornness. I torture my heart with my stupid wishes. I really have nothing else to do or say about it.

I've been feeling so devastated lately. I hit myself sometimes. I cry myself to sleep every night. I feel so alone. I don't feel as pretty as I used to feel.

Last night, I had a tantrum because of such a little thing. I cried painfully and hit my chest really hard.

I was so mad at everything, so I decided to blame myself. I have nobody or nothing to give my anger away. I couldn't scream. I couldn't fight. I'm hopeless. I don't want anybody to know.

I feel so pathetic. I have nobody to turn to because I know my friends would be sick of hearing this over and over again. I couldn't tell him because why should I told him?

All I know now is I have to let things go the way they suppose to go. I have to sit still and expect nothing.

I've let my expectations flew way too high brought me down and hit the ground. I feel like my heart had lied to me. It lied to me. It's like a false hope. It gives me nothing more to dream about because it is too painful to dream.

Oh what a life...

A month or so, if I may say

Quite hard, but this is it

Nothing will ever get better

It gets hard each day

I get stronger each day, but...

I am a human, I get hopeless every once in a while

I sometimes lost in my own thoughts, most of them are sad

I end up being sad every single night

"I love you" just sounds meaningless right now

The only words that's left is "I miss you"

I keep telling everyone that I'm missing him, but it ended up hurting everybody

I keep telling myself that it's no way, but it ended up getting things even painful

Sometimes, I have this feeling...

A feeling that makes me want to disappear and come back again when everything get easy

A feeling of being so vulnerable

A feeling of hiding

I thought the past would just pass by, but I was wrong

I am living in my past right now and I'm wishing that my past could turn into my present

Or maybe even my future

I just hate how things going on right now, I don't feel lucky at all

I feel so alone

Even I'm in the crowd, I still feel shattered

I'm water

He's water

We came from two different containers

Water meet water

They blend

We blend

Something separate us in another 2 containers

I still have him in me

He has me in him

Hurts

It still hurts

I asked God

Why did He let us meet if He wouldn't let us be together?

How could He let us fell in love?

I still don't understand why

I'm trying to understand

People told me to ask God for my true one, but...

I have no vision of the one

I don't want to...

I want him...

I got tangled up

I keep thinking about what was it like back then

I miss everything

I want to go back

I wish I could go back, but...

There's no way back

I can't find it

Someone erased it

All that it's left is me

Here

Alone

He used to be there when everything started to fell apart

He was there to put the pieces back

He was there to tell everything will be okay

He was there to hear me

And now, I have pushed him away...

Away...

I miss looking at you

I miss touching you

I miss listening to your voice

Your heartbeat

Your breath

The sound of your steps

I miss how you told me that I'm beautiful

I don't feel beautiful ever since, at all

I feel so ugly

I feel horrible

There's nobody telling me I'm okay

I'm hopeless

Nothing...

Nothing more I can do

I only cry

I only curse

I only sit

I only stand

I only sleep restlessly

I tried...

I tried to be happy

I tried to be good

I tried to eat my sadness away, but...

It's eating me alive

I feel so far away from everything

I feel so far behind

I feel left out

There's still a fear

A fear of being alone

A fear of cannot survive

A fear of being rejected

A fear of being hurt

A fear of not being able to run away

A fear of being stuck, while everyone else is moving on

A fear of being replaced

I really need one more day with you

I acted sarcastic

I feel no love

I feel nothing

It's been so long since that day, the day when we were still so in love

The day when you were still mine and I haven't said goodbye

The day when I still can call you 'mine'

The day when I haven't ruined everything

The day when I was still happy thinking about you

The day when everything was too beautiful to let go

The day when I still get to hold him close and listen to his heartbeat

The day when I can still taste his breath

The day when I can still look deep into his eyes and I could tell that he loves me so much

And today, I can only see things in my mind

The things that used to make me smile every single day

The things that keeps me through a bad day

The things that always stopped my tears from falling

The things that made me feel like I'm the luckiest person on earth

The things that I thought about every day and, smiling

I had to say goodbye, I had to let go first

Don't ever think that it's easy for me just because I didn't cry

These eyes might not be watery, but this heart is all shattered

Don't ever think I'm having all this fun without thinking deeply about what I've done

This lip might curved in smile, but the thoughts of you haunted me every single time

Don't ever think that you're the only one who's devastated

I might look well on the outside, but I'm all broken on the inside

Don't ever think that I don't love you anymore

You never know that I'd give my life just for a warm hug from you

Don't ever think that I am tough because I am not at all

I maybe sound alright, but I'm screaming in pain inside

Don't ever think that I'm so mean, by leaving you just like that

I leaved you because I care, I don't want you to crushed and burned

You weren't there when I needed you the most

You don't know how scared I was, being called 'slut' by the ones who gave me this life

You don't how shallow I was realizing that we won't be together for any longer

You don't understand

I left you because I had no choice

We are too different to be as one

We were never meant for do or die

So whatever you think about me, it's okay

I deserve it, because I'm just a pathetic little coward

I'm just not brave enough to be with you

And you deserve someone better than me

Thank you for loving all these years

I love you, Donny...